I know a few years ago we all saw the “Jiggly Japanese Cheesecake” videos online and instantly wanted to make one. How many of us completely fucked it up? It’s nothing like an American cheesecake. None of us had ever had one.
Friends, I made one. It was an utter failure. More than that, it was fucking annoying. It needed something like 7 egg yolks, but 11 egg whites and that’s the kind of bullshit I cannot abide. Mine didn’t rise well because the bain marie leaked into my springform pan and because I was absolutely fucking clueless. When I tasted it I thought it would taste like cheesecake as I know it, but fluffy.
It tastes like custard.
And therein lies some sort of lesson. First, some things just aren’t worth the effort. Second, adapt.
Castella is basically a lightly sweetened, eggy cake from Taiwan. It really only has about four or five ingredients, but sort of promises that jiggly, fluffy-yet-chewy texture that the Japanese cheesecake tried to sell us. This is way more accessible and like… 90% as tasty as the cheesecake.
So, fuck the things that require more of our attention and care than they are worth. I don’t have time to crack and separate eleven eggs for a cake I barely even like. Some shit just doesn’t live up to the hype - Dyson products, Elon Musk, avocado toast, hot people who have nothing to say, and your mom.
Castella
6 eggs
2tbsp neutral oil
1c sugar
1/3c honey
2 tbsp warm water
1 2/3c flour
1 tbsp honey
1/2 tbsp water
Preheat oven to 325 degrees.
Add 6 eggs, oil, and sugar to a mixing bowl. Whisk on high for about 5 minutes until the mixture is a very pale yellow and has tripled in volume. It should form ribbons if you pull the whisk out.
Combine honey and warm water. Slowly whisk into egg mixture.
Add flour in a few additions, whisking slowly to combine.
Line a pan and bake. I used a 10” cake pan and baked for about 45 minutes.
Remove from pan. While it’s warm, wrap the cake in plastic wrap to trap in moisture. When ready to serve, brush the top of the cake with honey and water syrup.
Serve.
Castella
This recipe has the right amount of profanities for my taste!